After much experimentation…
One big head of kale
Two strips of bacon
Apple cider vinegar
Pull the kale. Wash the roots to put topsoil back. Cut the stems free from the stump. Compost the stump.
Wash the individual stalks, point down, to remove garden grit.
Put the bacon on to fry at medium heat in a large skillet.
With a sharp knife, aiming individual stalks downward, slash the foliage free of the stems by sliding the sharp edge of the knife down along the axis of the stems. They come loose cleanly and easily. Compost the stems.
Rinse again in a caulander.
Coarsely chop the kale foliage.
When the bacon is ready, dump the chopped kale, with the water that clings to it after rinsing, into the bacon and bacon fat.
Stir with a fork every couple of minutes.
When kale is tender, but not soggy, add a teaspoon of raw honey.
Add a teaspoon of apple cider vinegar.
Add a half-teaspoon of salt.
Sprinkle liberally with black pepper.
Stir, remove from heat, and serve.
Feeds one as a meal. Makes a side dish for around four.